Euneirophrenia

What did Euneirophrenia inspire?

noun; meaning "peace of mind after a pleasant dream."

Joelle Saveliev

Noël Coleman

Joelle Saveliev

It slips away…

The ice once flowing through my veins.

The blossoming warmth, the pulse, the pains.

I am once more. Not frozen. Alive.

Lungs gasp. Hands grasp. I hunger. I thrive.

But waking is not the pleasure it seems.

No euneirophrenia. There were no dreams.

Time has passed, but I’ve aged not a day.

Still I can feel it.

Slowly.

It slips away….

Noël Coleman

I awoke too early.

the birds were crying out to each other. before the sun had even touched the grass. I could feel the chill in the air but it didn’t quite touch me, still cocooned in my blankets.

winter was long and the mornings were too grey to feel like much could come from them.

there was no need to wake up.

so I didn’t

I curled around the soft feeling in my chest. I watched the trees shift against the morning sky. I laid in euneirophrenia, wondering if this could still be a dream.

it seemed too beautiful to be real

the world was still soft. caught in the moment of time where no one else is really awake, and so they don’t exist.

not to you. not here.

not in the world created between the spaces of your sheets and the sleeves of your hoodie and the paths of thoughts in your mind.

even thoughts feel softer here. warped and hazy from the duskiness of sleep.

this feels, not quite perfect, but right

the blankets shift with the pace of my breaths. the sun plays across the dark blue of my comforter. I try to follow it but my eyes keep getting lost in the dust hanging inside the light.

I wonder, somewhere inside, deep enough that it doesn’t really seem to matter, if someday this will change.

 if waking up with another body beside me would break this. I don’t want it broken, I think. vaguely struck with a sense of panic.

still too tired to chase it towards fear.

I want this, just. This.

and the panic swells, and shifts, and fades. I remember my dreams. I remember the safety of the false worlds my mind created to carry me through to this moment.

for the purpose of just, simply and totally, enjoying this moment.

and so I refuse to think ahead or further. now, here, this morning, I want this.

and nothing more.

tomorrow I might shift. tomorrow I might want warmth and heartbeats and heavy arms.

I’ll enjoy my dreams and pleasant mornings until then