What did Uhtceare inspire?
noun; meaning "lying awake before dawn
and worrying.”
We were flying.
In the sunlight.
In the warmth.
Where we belong.
But then it happened,
I opened my eyes.
You were sleeping.
Still dreaming.
Curled by my side.
No uhtceare,
still flying.
You look
so peaceful.
And I wonder
if it’s selfish
to steal that peace
from you
on waking.
How long can we be?
How long can it last?
This time
we share
before the wind
finally comes
and takes you
from me.
and worrying.”
It happened again.
Last night.
I was dreaming.
Nothing new.
The same dream,
we’ve both dreamt,
since we were young.
Last night.
I was dreaming.
Nothing new.
The same dream,
we’ve both dreamt,
since we were young.
We were flying.
In the sunlight.
In the warmth.
Where we belong.
But then it happened,
like it does,
each time
in my dream.
The wax melted.
Wings in tatters.
And you cried,
as I grasped,
but lost you
to the winds.
each time
in my dream.
The wax melted.
Wings in tatters.
And you cried,
as I grasped,
but lost you
to the winds.
I opened my eyes.
You were sleeping.
Still dreaming.
Curled by my side.
No uhtceare,
still flying.
You look
so peaceful.
And I wonder
if it’s selfish
to steal that peace
from you
on waking.
How long can we be?
How long can it last?
This time
we share
before the wind
finally comes
and takes you
from me.
5:07am
“No.” Cris mumbled, throwing the pillow over his head for
the eighth time that night. “No. It can’t still be only 5. No. Stop being that.”
5:08am
Time did not, in fact, stop being what it was.
“Rude.”
It wasn’t rude, actually. It was just being time. Time can’t
be rude. You could try explaining this to Cris, but it’s only 5am and he went
to bed around 3am. It would be a bit like explaining why you’re using an air
conditioner to the air conditioner in use. Sure, there’d be some whirs and
cranky exhausts, but there’s not much give and take.
5:20am found Cris sitting cross-legged in his bed with a
bowl of cereal, staring down the clock.
“I know what you think you are,” he said, taking to fighting
with inanimate objects between bites.
“You think, just because you can tell time you should control time.”
The clock didn’t raise a defense. Probably because it was a
clock.
“Yeah, just sit there, we’ll see who backs down first. Bring
it, 5am.”
5:35am
“I guess this is what happens,” Cris announced from lying on
his back, on the floor. The bed being
too comfortable, obviously. He had to
stay awake. He had to beat 5am.
“This is the way things play out. Time catches up and tears
you apart and you’re left… lying on your bedroom floor at… 5:34am.”
Cris’ bedroom door opened, but he didn’t bother to move.
“Hey, Cris. Man, uhh, could you… Cris?”
“Yeah?” Cris groaned out, still not bothering to lift
himself off the floor. It was only a roommate. A roommate with another
complaint, or another concern or another hey man, we’re worried.
“… I know you’ve had a rough go, but you could at least,
like, not uhtceare so loud?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh, okay. Thanks Man.” The door closed. Leaving Cris alone
with his clock again.
5:38am
“I told you to stop that half an hour ago.”
“CRIS. SHUT UP.”
“Sorry,” Cris whispered, then yelled. “SORRY BUT HEY, DO WE
HAVE ANY BANANAS?”
“GO TO SLEEP.”
Cris looked at the clock. “He could have at least answered,
right 5am?”
5:42am, the clock responded.
“I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to stay awake. I want
to…” Cris trailed off, looking around
himself, as if realizing he was
addressing a clock.
5:50am found Cris in yesterday’s pants, his sleep hoodie,
and black converse without socks. It also found him on the road outside his
apartment.
Or, the sidewalk next to the road.
“I want to have an adventure. I’m done waiting, and
angsting. I want to do something. I
want to travel and walk everywhere. I want to see sights and meet people. I
want to beat more than an hour, I want to waste away time.”
Cris looked down to check on 5am, to be greeted by an empty
wrist. He’d lost the numbers, sending words into the wind.
He started to walk.
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